Lived Experience as Expertise – Reflection On My Career Development Journey
Lived experience creates a life & career narrative that when reflected on, with meaning and purpose applied, will prove more valuable than formal education. If you own the experience, take responsibility for it, grow from it, and become a better human being because of it – than it will be worth more than any schooling, formal education, or degree that is ever achieved.
I have experienced unemployment several times in my life. Some of my times of unemployment were the effects of drug use. Some were brought on by factors of a poor economy in which many of us were laid off at once. And some of these times of unemployment created a spin of re-occurring drug use, anxiety, and an overall decline in my mental and emotional well-being.
Lived Experience as Expertise – Homeless, Addiction and Anxiety
In 2003 I was homeless. Methamphetamine took me to the streets and there I remained until 2005. For two years, I hid from the world. I stole food and did what I had to in order to eat and get high. If I wasn’t high, I was drowning in fear and overwhelmed by an Anxiety I could not get control of. At night, I was in a sleeping bag, hidden under a stairway in West Hollywood.
Thankfully, in late 2005, I entered shelter and got a job. I worked hard, and miracle upon miracles – I worked my way up to Area Manager. Then in 2010, we were all laid off. I had never completely quit my meth use and had at times, used it recreationally. With this layoff, my addiction once again took over. I had no goals for myself. I didn’t know who I was, what I was capable of, or what I wanted to do in my life.
With No Direction and No Calling or Purpose, I spun into anxiety and meth us again…
I entered rehab in late 2010. I came out of rehab clean but still lost. My way of staying off meth was to repeat over and over to myself, “whatever you do, don’t do meth”. The brain is funny that way. It kept seeing the loaded meth pipe, but the “don’t do” message was never included in the memory. And so, I gave in again to the image and the fantasy.
This time, I went down hard. Lower than I have ever been. I gave up. I stopped eating. My anxiety converted to depression. I prayed for God to take me but I was found by a neighbor. When they found me, I weighed 110 lbs. instead of my usual 190 lb. I was rushed to the ER and remained in hospital for a week where my Dad found me. I was taken home with him and slowly, I began to heal. With some voice in my ear that I can only claim to be Gods…I got the message. I wasn’t done yet and my job was to live.
New Beginnings – Career Development Journey done Right
In 2012, I had to start over. Again. Just recovering from hitting my own rock bottom, I had to find courage and reenter the workforce. It took guts to reenter the world and the land of the living. I had to re-join and find my place in society. I had to find a way to be purposeful, responsible, and willing to live.
With little college education, an employment history riddled with highs, lows, and periods of unemployment; climbing from rock bottom and shadowed with fear, anxiety, and in the midst of drug recovery…I stepped up and back into the light. Ready or not…here I was. Again.
Career Ground Zero
I started back to work with Finish Line, in an entry-level management position. It was a new position in partnership with Macy’s. I worked hard and was in school at the same time. While working, I earned respect, and a solid reputation. I also earned a certificate in Human Resources and studied Leadership and Management at the Santa Rosa Junior College.
While working for Finish Line and in partnership with Macy’s…Macy’s then recruited me. There I became the Jewelry Business Manager for Macy’s newly envisioned Jewelry Department Business Strategy at one of their locations here in Sonoma County. I did well and moved up to become the Beauty Business Manager, and then a Merchandising Team Manager.
I worked hard and learned a lot. But in the final year of 2019 – 2020, I became burned out. I knew my heart was no longer in it. I had worked hard to prove mostly to myself that I was capable despite my past or lack of a 4-year degree. I was beginning to feel the pull to face my fears and find a career that would provide me with greater meaning and fulfillment.
History Repeats Itself Until the Lesson is Learned
Then in early 2020, me and 2,000 others, were laid off from Macy’s. Unemployment faced me. Again. And then Covid hit…
Career Journey and Life Purpose – New Beginnings and New Mindset
But this time was different. This past year and a half were different. My mindset and perception were different. My behaviors and responses to change and challenges were different. And so, my results were different. They were better. They were beautiful. And in truth, I am quite proud of myself.
This time, I stayed busy. During quarantine, I created a blog entitled (wait for it…wait for it…) TheDreamHustler.com (you had to know that was coming). Then I started volunteering for The Beat Within, and it is here that I found my comfort zone for writing.
Finally, while on unemployment, I enrolled to earn a Career & Life Planning Certificate from Chico State. Upon my reentry into the workforce in 2012, I had done the work on myself that I had avoided for so long. I knew myself this time.
I believed in myself, and I knew I wanted to help people find fulfillment and meaning. I knew in my heart that we all deserved to find purpose and to be able to achieve self-actualization in all the interrelated arenas of our lives.
Lived Experience, Life Narrative, Finding Purpose, Coming Full Circle
I wanted self-actualization for myself, and I knew that I was being called to facilitate and enable self-actualization in others. A completion of the circle so to speak. To give was to get. And coming to know this was beautiful.
Finally, I chose to do something that many others did NOT do. I chose to go back to work. I took a huge pay cut. Not only did I take an entry level paying job to get experience in a new job sector. But I forfeited my unemployment and the enormous Covid pay on top of it.
It was a risk. But it was a calculated risk. It was a risk made on faith. And my faith was strong.
The story is still in process. I am still on the journey. I am now a Site Supervisor and have moved up 3 times from the original position that I started in a year ago. I need to revamp TheDreamHustler, but I have remained committed to writing for TheBeat, editing, and facilitating.
I never was very good at adulting. I am very much still in process. My narrative is far from done. But I do know this. I must be open about my story. We all have so much to share. We have an incredible opportunity to learn from each other.
Lived Experience as Expertise – Final Thought – Achieving Self-Actualization by Owning the Narrative
In the past, I felt ashamed, and I felt like I had to hide my past from my present. It was exhausting to live as a split personality. To have to hide the life I had lived. It limited me and kept me from being all I could be in the present.
Here is what I have learned: I am not my mistakes. But I am my lived experiences. I have learned from them. I own them and now I have edited the narrative so that I can help others.
My story is a story shared. My experiences are a priceless education with a value far greater than anything read in a book or taught in a classroom.
My lived experience invigorates me and drives me forward fearlessly. My narrative fills me with Faith and Hope. I am ready to share. To learn. To teach. To Grow. And most importantly. I am ready to Live.