My nephew Lucas was the definition of a miracle. The question is not whether miracles exist. The question is whether or not we will open our eyes to the miracle as it unfolds each day.
You and I have a responsibility to each other – to never give up. I broke this promise. Chance events brought me back from near death. Struggling with addiction, mental health, and an attempt on my life, it was time to choose to live. I now live my life on purpose. I do this not just for myself, but for those I love. My nephew Lucas and the family that made his story possible are in no small part, the reason I push on. They are my definition of a miracle…
In the summer of 2020, my nephew Lucas passed away. He was born with a fatal rare disorder known as Menkes Syndrome. Menkes Syndrome in simple terms, is caused by a mutation that inhibits the body from effectively regulating necessary copper levels. Essentially, Lucas was destined to leave this world at an early age.
Lucas was a living, breathing, miracle. It is difficult to convey the feeling one would have while in his presence. Lucas was never able to walk, and never able to talk.
But his laughter and his infectious smile…the way he would look at you as if in that moment, you were his whole world. It was one of the greatest feelings I have ever known. It was genuine, uninhibited love, in its purest form.
I remember when Lucas was about 1 years old – Lucas couldn’t swallow his food. It was too complex of a task for his little body to coordinate. My sister was in tears. I remember her saying, “all a mother wants to do is take care of her child. I can’t even feed my own child.” It was a breaking point.
Then there was light. A procedure was done that allowed for Lucas to have a tube connected so that he could be fed directly to his stomach. This was the first of many points at the brink. But year after year, my sister and her family overcame the obstacles.
One morning, my sister called me. She was trying to express what it was to love a child. It was as she described, “an all-consuming love that she had never fully understood.” But now that she had experienced it, she could not bare for it to end.
Prior to Lucas, my sister was set on having one child. And up until this point, even with Lucas’ abbreviated life having been somewhat pre-determined, there had been no change to my sister’s plan.
But this morning, my sister confessed that her ideas had progressed. And her answer taught me the miraculous nature of love. It was as if, my sister and I had shortchanged the infinite power of love up until this very moment.
As my sister described, she now knew differently. She now understood that love for a child was limitless. She had more love to give, and she did not want that story of giving love to end when Lucas passed.
It was such a beautiful moment to witness as a brother. It was awe inspiring to be the brother of a sister that was able to recognize something so powerful. Her realization and chosen words, would forever change me.
With the birth of Alex, it seemed that the family unit was complete. And over the next few years, I had the honor of witnessing a family journey through a maze of challenges with tenacity, courage, and love.
And the payoff was enormous. Lucas and his story brought their entire family together. It is impossible to say for sure, what Lucas was thinking during his time with us. But if joy could be felt, then Lucas was the catalyst. His joy was infectious, and it could not be denied. You could not be in the same room with him without being brought to a smile.
It would have been a disservice to the miracle in front of you if you denied him the joy he so clearly emanated. How could a child, unable to speak or walk, always look at the world around him with an expression of such peace and delight? Everything that you felt was wrong in your life would just slip away during the precious moments you were with him.
But in the summer of 2020, Lucas reached the end. We knew that for Lucas, his time with us was reaching its limit. The longer he remained with us, the uglier it was going to get. His death arrived with mercy. It was not a prolonged ordeal. And for this, we are grateful.
There is an understanding amongst the living. It is not the dead that grieve, but the living. We are faced with the task of coming to terms with death and finding meaning in the inevitable end. But all is not lost. Lucas saved us.
Lucas saved me. I am 9 years clean off of methamphetamine. I am no longer homeless. I am no longer using my last dime on my addiction. The attempt I took on my life and the recovery from that fall was in large part due to having a reason to live. Lucas was a reason to live.
How can any of us not fight to live as we should now that we know Lucas’ story? How can we turn away from what we are called to do? Surely, if my nephew, could give joy to us despite his story and despite his circumstance…then how can we shy away from courageously owning our better selves.
Lucas, you are loved. I am a better man for having been blessed with you as my nephew. I know your spirit lives on. Your memory remains a guiding light and is forever etched in my mind. It holds me accountable and ensures that I never run from who I am. Thank you for gracing me with the chance to know and to love you. Amen