Woman’s History Month is about more than famous women in history. This month we can honor all woman that have made a difference in our personal lives, famous or not. The women that have impacted me the most are much closer to home. I am sure this is also true for many of you. My mother, my sister, and friends have all had a positive impact on my life and their influence has made me a better person.
Mother
My mother was one of the most amazing people I have ever known. There was never any doubt in my mind of how much she loved me. There is something special about the powerful force of a mother’s love.
She passed away when I was 13 years old. A result of a long battle with a hereditary cholesterol disorder and one too many surgeries. The final battle proved to be too much and we lost her during the early morning hours on April 15th.
I will never know if my mom knew I was gay. What I do know, is that she knew I was sensitive and unique. I know she worried for me. I think that her concern for my well-being centered on whether I could hold up to the scrutiny and judgement that would come my way. Could I withstand the world as it is and stand strong for myself and the sensitive person I was.
She was inherently strong. Her childhood was difficult. And she was a figure that was the result of a deep faith in mankind, in god, and ultimately in herself – despite her upbringing. My mother was beautiful. But she had no time for petty friendships based on looks.
She kept to herself, was often introspective and you could tell that her view on life was a perspective of deep understanding. You could sense that my mother sought answers to questions about life that many are too afraid to ask. She knew there was something more. You could feel it and so, as kids, we were drawn to her.
Although gone in the physical sense, my mother is very much alive in spirit. She lives on in me and my siblings. Of this fact, I have no doubt. She is an influence on history, the present moment, and so the future. This influence was accomplished during her time here on this earthly plane, and through the actions and influence on me, my siblings, and anyone else who’s life she touched. Certainly, this is a life worth honoring and remembering.
Sister
Sister, I have really put you through it. I have put your love to the test. My addiction, anxiety and depression, and my huge delay in growing up. Missing your wedding. Disappearing to the streets for a couple years with no word of where I was or if I was dead or alive. Relapse and then rehab and then relapse again.
From the very beginning, you made it clear to me that straight or gay, you loved me. You loved everything about me before I could even begin to love myself. You are a godsent.
All the while, you have been experiencing motherhood. One child, with a rare disease destined for a life cut short and now gone. And a second child, healthy, and so requiring full energy and commitment to the act of parenting.
You made room in your heart for all of it. I would be far less than I am without you. And sister? Mom would be proud. You are in every way, our mothers’ daughter. You have her strength and her beauty. I am honored to have you as my sister.
Sister – Not in Blood but in the Bonding of the Soul
You have been my friend from the moment you found me in the days of my active addictions. We found in each other, a connection. We could see each other. I mean really see each other – past the surface and deep into the soul.
I cringe at the memory of the ignorant and naïve white boy that I was. I learned so much from you. I learned that the world wasn’t white but beautiful because of its coat of many colors. I am more aware and more loving of all mankind because of you.
While deep in my addiction, you took me in whenever you could from the streets. But I always went back out as I could not or would not give up the drugs. I remember that one time when I slept in your bed. You fed me, desperately trying to give me nourishment and not knowing how to stop me from using so that I would come in from the cold.
I slept there and you went to the window. Carrying the burden of my nightmare of a life. You worried I was no longer there. I was at risk of losing myself. But you never gave up on me. You had faith in me when I did not have faith in myself.
Then I was in hospital after taking an attempt on my life. I went from 190 pounds to scarcely the weight of 110. I was skin and bones. But you were there at my hospital bed. And when they discharged me to the streets, weak and unable to walk on my own, you advocated and with your strength you bulldozed your way and got me back into hospital until I could be discharged as a human being should be.
You know who you are and I am here, and actively taking part in life because of you. Thank you, friend. I love you.
Friend, You are a Mother Bear
I don’t know if I would be alive today if not for you. You called my dad, a man you never met, and told him what was up. Knowing you, you probably didn’t give him much of a choice. You are a mother bear in every sense and you fought for me like I was your own
Your strength is awe inspiring. You continue to inspire me. I know we don’t talk much. But I think about you often. Your influence has shaped the course of my life. I do my best to emanate what you taught me in the day to day of my life.
Thank you. You are loved.
Friend, You are Part of My Present, How Lucky I am….
You are so hard on yourself. I know it because when I watch you, I see that you and I are much the same. Perhaps it is why fate destined for us to meet.
Your friendship is amazing. You love and extend your hand unconditionally. And I have this need in my sarcastic way, to protect you. Sometimes I think I need to protect you from yourself.
But you must know that extending love infinitely in the way you do is not a weakness. It is a strength. You are stronger then you know. And you are one of the strongest people I have ever met.
You think so much that you risk spinning yourself out of control. But I think you misunderstand the power of your mind. You are intelligent and your mind needs to be trusted. It simply asks that you give it direction. I hope that as your friend, I might help you to think yourself towards the light.
I am not the easiest of friends. But when I love, I love deeply. And friend, I love you. I don’t say it very often for it gets in the way of the delivery of my sarcasm. But I really do love you. Thanks for being there.
Thanks for reading. Sincerely, Kurt
https://nationalwomenshistoryalliance.org/womens-history-month/womens-history-month-history/
https://www.womenshistory.org/womens-history/womens-history-month